Olive been suffering extreme case of eczema where no steroid cream/ointment works. It just breaks my heart how much she is going through now. Her skin is beyond damaged with dried pigments all over from head to ankle. Every night when applying cream she cries as it stings so badly. I wish I can do more but being a mom to watch a child to go through anything regardless small or large pain is so hard to see. Olive have been a trooper but some days are bad where she can’t stand the pain anymore.

Olive, when you are older. I wish you can see this and know the pain mommy is going through with you.

Feel better and hope for speedy recovery my baby.

Throughout my life, I believe working hard will pay back with something good. I am so wrong. No matter how I try to be nice and help or work my ass off nothing ever pays off. In return, I get huge disappointment. What did I ever do wrong in life?

I hate to complain but lately I am feeling more and more of a failure. Nothing comes in my favor. Whether it is work or home or outside the house. No one understands me. Everyone thinks I am stubborn ass or refuse help. Trust me I tried asking and to be clear I only ask once or twice. Why do I have to beg? No one ever knows whats behind closed doors. I must admit I am shy and is still shy. I am afraid I am misunderstanding or not understanding. No one knows my fear. My confident level is so low no one will ever know.

I must admit life so far have been tough. I grew up with sort of a broken family. I hope to one day have my own family with a loving and helpful husband. Boy, am I wrong. Instead I married to be everyone’s mom. I felt so unhappy for years and it haven’t changed no matter how I ask or try. Why me? Why is my life a burden life? Why is my life always looked down by people? I try to be a friend to anyone and a perfect wife but everyone just know how to use me. Trust friend or love will always be there for you no matter what.

I am writing this out loud so my kids will not make the same mistake as me. Kids, when you grow up things will get harder and harder. There will always be people who are mean and all. Just move on. Nothing should ever bother you.

I just don’t get it. Why can’t people be united and fight whats going on. It only takes the entire world to be united and fight this altogether. Takes only a little sacrafice to get through this, not the entire lifetime. Why always having this argument? Why having this fomo? Why asking so much? Why can’t anyone understand its not the end of the world? Just work together and stop complaining. Life goes on…..

Its been a rough few weeks balancing work, kids and housework. I hope every parents that are heavily involved with their kids celebrate by end of friday this week. Well deserve pat in the back for the hard work and not be mentally affected by everything.

My quarantine time with everyone home had no help from my hubby unfortunately. Yessss, I have to make sure my 2 kids are on top of schoolwork, juggle work and on top squeeze in every little break to make lunch and dinner. Its not easy but unfortunately I don’t have a partner who helps or care to offer. Most days I just feel like a single mom. One thing I learned is plan things ahead. Don’t go off the schedule as things will go off course and can’t go back. As much as I regret alot of things like decisions in life, I can’t look back. Its the path I chose. Its sad but for the kids I must continue and not hold grudges. There is nothing left of me other than making sure my girls are safe and all.

Yesss, I am constantly reminded almost every day or week by some inconsiderate person that I have no break and a really hard life. I must admit I do but what can I do? I don’t need someone to remind me nor brag how good their husband is. I get it, I am weak I am useless in my relationship. Who doesn’t wish to have a healthy and loving relationship? Unfortunately, I didn’t make a good decision in life. What can I do now? I just hope everyone well except for myself. Its my sad life so dont constantly remind me. I get it!!!!

This week is not really remote learning. Kids got a semi break from school since it was supposed to be their real spring break which they got robbed from. I’m just glad we all got a break from schoolwork. No schedule and let the kids wild 😜.

It was Easter weekend and I felt bad kids are couped up with no fun activities. So I went to Dollar Tree and got some last minute eggs and things to make egg hunt for the girls. It was a nice fun surprise for them.

So hubby was off Monday and Tuesday since he originally took off for the kids spring break to go to Baltimore with friends but it didn’t happen due to the coronavirus. Monday was the kids first fun spring break activity. Both kids got the same assignment making a soap dispenser. So the kids spent almost the whole day with hubby while I worked working on their assignment.

On Tuesday, since hubby was off, we decided to take the girls for a walk. I took some time off and it was the first time we actually went out out to stroll with the kids since the pandemic started. We went to Conference House and took a short hike to the beach. Then we drove over to Wolf Pond park and found another beach there. I was in heaven as there were many many rocks. Yessss, we’ve been rock painting at home on weekends that keep us sane and occupied.

Can’t wait til the weekend for more rock painting!

This week is supposed to be a short week as kids was “supposed” to have a spring break starting Thursday but it was taken away due to social distancing and keeping kids home. School is still in session. 😔 Good thing school sent an email letting parents know that instead of regular full day schoolwork it will be called “fun spring breack activities”.

Monday through Wednesday was business as usual with regular schoolwork. Thursday came with a big relief. No real school assignments 🙌🎉🥳. Best present ever. Kids are using Thursday and Friday to catch up any schoolwork that they missed. My lilo was one of them as she had 3 pages math left to do for the week so it helped alot.

We started a new game called Rummikub. It was fun for the fam to play. We spent hours playing for first few days.

I am not good with taking pics but here are some dish that hubby made for dinner. His notorious slammin’ salmon.

It was great to finally have him help cooking especially now that I have to cook 7 days a week at least 2 meals a day 😩. Its very difficult to think what to make anymore. I think by time this pandemic is over I be turning grey and white.

Zoom and facetime has been the new norm for most of us to interact with friends and family. I setup a zoom meeting with my family from all over the world on Friday night. It was great to see everyone.

On the weekend, I broke out all the rocks and paint that I collected last year during spring break in Toronto. I was sooo happy that I brought some home as if I’m ready for this pandemic. We did a morning of family rock painting. It was fun. We bonded and all.

I survived a full work week with kids at home. I think it went well overall as long as I assigned activities and give them a strict schedule. Next week will definitely be an interesting one as kids start remote learning.

My goal is also help any working parents if I can. I blocked an hour today to help entertain kids while parents work. This is truly a difficult time for all parents. Us parents are working 12hrs a day now if we can even get more time in a day I think most parents be happy. So to all the parents out there and including myself, please pat yourself on the back for doing such a hard work. Allow yourself have some drink time when kids asleep.

So today’s virtual art session I led was to make a rainbow (I read somewhere on FB that someone started this as a symbol of hope and simply put this rainbow on your window for anyone walking by to see). The bright color does lighten my day. It was a great idea and indeed fun for kids under 10 years old. I asked the kids to be creative with their rainbows. So here they are:

Since it was a beautiful spring day (almost 80 degrees), I ended work slighly early to take the girls out for fresh air and scoot around the neighborhood. Everyone remember that we all need fresh air and exercise!

With virtual learning and socializing now, alot of people are starting to adapt using video conference like zoom, google hangout, etc to talk to one another. I am super glad that we have this technology now else we be super bored.

Hope everyone have a wonderul weekend. Stay healthy and be safe!