Throughout my life, I believe working hard will pay back with something good. I am so wrong. No matter how I try to be nice and help or work my ass off nothing ever pays off. In return, I get huge disappointment. What did I ever do wrong in life?

I hate to complain but lately I am feeling more and more of a failure. Nothing comes in my favor. Whether it is work or home or outside the house. No one understands me. Everyone thinks I am stubborn ass or refuse help. Trust me I tried asking and to be clear I only ask once or twice. Why do I have to beg? No one ever knows whats behind closed doors. I must admit I am shy and is still shy. I am afraid I am misunderstanding or not understanding. No one knows my fear. My confident level is so low no one will ever know.

I must admit life so far have been tough. I grew up with sort of a broken family. I hope to one day have my own family with a loving and helpful husband. Boy, am I wrong. Instead I married to be everyone’s mom. I felt so unhappy for years and it haven’t changed no matter how I ask or try. Why me? Why is my life a burden life? Why is my life always looked down by people? I try to be a friend to anyone and a perfect wife but everyone just know how to use me. Trust friend or love will always be there for you no matter what.

I am writing this out loud so my kids will not make the same mistake as me. Kids, when you grow up things will get harder and harder. There will always be people who are mean and all. Just move on. Nothing should ever bother you.